Your decision to divorce will affect your kids. What kid would not be affected by their parents advising them that life will never be the same again?
Yet, most kids manage to cope with it OK, even if they have ups and downs, and some take longer to come to terms with the changes than others.
The problem is, understanding how your divorce is affecting your kids is not always straightforward. A baby can cry, laugh, squeal and not much more. How does it say, “Why do I only get to see that guy that throws me in the air and makes me laugh on weekends these days?” Or “Hey, enough of this plastic bottle of milk, I want the real thing.”
Young kids that are old enough to speak may also struggle to tell you how they feel. In part because they are likely confused about the whole situation. A lot of them have no clue what day of the week it is, so knowing that they will see Mommy on Tuesday will not mean much to them.
What about teenagers?
Surely they have the mental capacity to understand what is going on? Maybe. That does not mean they know how to process it or explain their feelings to you. Or that they would want to. Hormones can make an adolescent go from happy one moment to a bad mood the next. Are they upset about your divorce, or because they cannot go to the party?
Here are a few signs that may suggest your kids are not coping well, even if they say they are fine:
- Wetting the bed
- Trouble sleeping
- Skipping school
- Dropping school grades
- Getting into trouble with teachers or the police
- Physical pain without any logical reason
- Being horrible toward you
Co-operating on your divorce, allows you to rebuild stability for your kids sooner. If you continue to co-operate as co-parents, hopefully, your child should realize that everything will be fine and return to their normal selves.